Author Archives: shindancer

Furrah for the Hoggy!

Posted on August 20, 2012 | 2 comments

There are many reasons, many movies, and many slumber parties that have led to this ridiculously dorky but fun-as-all-hell-to-write blog (seriously…we dissect Flashdance and Purple Rain like they were classic literature…if that’s not dorky fun, I don’t know what is). The first movie that the three of us fun dorks bonded over was Jim Henson’s The Frog Prince. As the TV Guide ad below illustrates, it wasn’t exactly The Muppet Movie or even The Great Muppet Caper, so just the fact that we had all once been obsessed* with this obscure gem from Muppet past made us all start a squeal that has yet to decrease in volume and pitch.

Delightfully mod? Oh. So that was what was up with Sir Robin’s hair.

So what better way to say Happy Birthday to my partner in dorkitude than with this song–a song that Jody knows all the words to…frontwards and backwards.

* In a ridiculously dorky and obsessed move, I named one of my cats Sir Robin.

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Posted in Life at The Slumber Party

Gallery

Let’s Drink Burlesque.

Posted on August 1, 2012

This gallery contains 11 photos.

So maybe it’s a full-on slumber party, or maybe you just invited a few friends over while the kids are at school. Either way, you’ve got a full bar and a copy of Burlesque, starring Christina Aguilera and Cher’s wax statue … Continue reading →

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Video

Tuesday Tribute: Best Drinking Scene in a Teen Comedy

This scene from John Hughes’ Weird Science deserves a tribute for its epic greatness, but also because, since Gary’s pimp character would not pass modern PC standards, a scene like this would not be made today. So it’s not PC…does that mean that it can’t be EPIC? I don’t think so. Let’s remember one thing–Lisa is magic. She has magic powers. She uses them to outfit herself, Wyatt and Gary in the finest prom wear that the 80s had to offer, but instead of using those magic powers to go on a Ferris-Buelleresque tippy-tappy champagne and foie gras tour of only the cuntiest penthouses in the Chicago skyline, Lisa conjures up pink Cadillac so they can cruise to the South Side and drink Blind-Dog Bourbon at a blues bar straight out of a Jim Croce song. Privileged white boys? In the South Side of Chicago? Hilarity surely will ensue, right? Right. But it mostly comes from the common ground that Gary finds with the malakas at The Kandy Bar. And maybe that was what Lisa was trying to teach Gary. He wasn’t the first one to go crazy for a big set of titties. He wasn’t the only guy in the world to get kneed in the family jewels. It was not just him and Wyatt against the slushie-throwing (no, Glee did not invent that) Robert Downeys of the world. He was not alone. And perhaps that was Lisa’s magic. Or perhaps it’s just a funny scene in a funny movie. Either way, enjoy.

Extra Credit: Is it possible that the Kids in the Hall sketch “Mississippi Gary” was not based on Mississippi Fred McDowell, as previously thought, but on Gary’s un-PC pimp character? Discuss.

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Posted on July 31, 2012 in John Hughes, Tuesday Tribute

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Another “Feminism Happened” Life Lesson from the Better Off Dead Mom.

To be honest, this was not exactly inspired by Better Off Dead. It was inspired by those women…you know Those Women. The ones who are always on Facebook posting things like, “I just spent all afternoon deep-frying BLTs and cleaning the dishwasher for My Man. Isn’t My Man lucky?” When I see one of those posts, my first thought is, “Bitch, didn’t you vote for Hilary?” My second thought is, “You made those deep-fried BLTs for Your Man? What the fuck did you eat? Did you get a sandwich, or were you happy to watch Your Man enjoy the fruits of your labor while sustaining yourself on whatever bits of water-logged food you found in the dishwasher drain?” My third thought is, “Since I actually made that whole deep-fried BLT thing up, should I patent that or what?”

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Posted on July 30, 2012 in Better Off Dead, Meme, Miscellany

Video

It was 25 years ago today…

Or to be more accurate, it 25 years ago last Saturday that Guns N’ Roses released Appetite for Destruction. Now, I know that Welcome to the Jungle might be the obvious choice for this week’s Friday Morning Videos, but I’ve got my reasons. Two of them. And they both involve the first 10 seconds of the video. First of all, come on! How can you NOT be impressed that the first act of a hair-metal video inspired a cheese-filled Broadway musical and an equally fromagey star-studded movie, nearly a quarter of a century later. That’s a lot of cheddar.

Second, it probably took less than an hour and forty bucks to film the “sweet, innocent Axl Rose gets off the bus” scene. I’m sure the actor they got to play The Hustler got paid in hair grease and Marlboro reds. Axl borrowed that suitcase from Slash’s mom (I assume). That just leaves the cost of sending an intern to the Ho Store for a slutty ho and slutty hose. Think about it. For the price of a fringed jacket on the clearance rack at Wilson’s, this video did something amazing. At the beginning (the beginning for Christ’s sake) of the LA metal scene, they summed the whole thing up in a package neater than whatever sock-and-duct-tape combo Axl shoved down the front of his plastic pleather trousers. “There will be hustlers waiting to take your shit as soon as you get off the bus, but hot damn! The chicks are super slutty!”

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Posted on July 27, 2012 in Friday Morning Videos

Tuesday Tribute: Surprisingly Still Alive Edition

Posted on July 17, 2012 | 1 comment

Comedian and human Fraggle, Phyllis Diller, turns 95. That means that she has out-joked, out-hammed and out-laughed them all–except Rickles, who is still alive…out of spite. This video is a fitting tribute to our cackling queen of comedy because it makes us wish (oh how we wish) that Phyllis Diller had gotten that role in Spice World and Meatloaf had done voices for a straight-to-video animated flick. Happy Birthday, Old Spice!

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Posted in Tuesday Tribute

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Video

Friday the 13

Happy Friday the 13th! I don’t know about you, but on special days like this, my mind turns to thoughts of Jason Voorhees. One of my favorite Friday the 13th movies is Jason X–or as I like to call it “Jason in Space!” I don’t love this flick because it’s good…because it’s not. And I don’t just love it because it’s Jason…in space. Even though it is. I love it because after years of stabbing bitches in the head with a machete (except for Friday the 13th 3 in 3D, when he switched to spears, darts and long “coming at ya” weapons…for some reason), Jason went into space. Space! Did you ever go to space? Probably not. And not only does he go into space, but he fucks shit up there. Watch this trailer…see that? At the end…when the mother fucking space station explodes? Jason did that. Little, head-stabbing Jason blew up a mother fucking SPACE STATION!* Brings a tear to my eye.

*It should be noted that Jason accidentally blew up the space station while stabbing a bitch with a machete, but still….

From stabbing horn-dog counselors at Camp Crystal Lake to this. Sniff.

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Posted on July 13, 2012 in Horror

Terribly Sorry.

Posted on July 11, 2012 | 1 comment

Recently, on Facebook, I suggested that maybe this whole Don’t Call it Frisco thing is a bit antiquated. I mean the whole thing started with Herb Caen’s book Don’t Call it Frisco, which was published in 1953 and was inspired by something a local judge said in 1918. 1918! Isn’t it time to let it go? Apparently not. My husband, and other native San Franciscans, are highly insulted. I understand insult. I’m from NH. Our State Flower looks like a vagina. That’s a lot to live down. So I would like to sincerely apologize to native San Franciscans who I have insulted by bringing this up. And because this is Slumber Party, I have done so by changing key words in this classic Rowan Atkinson and Hugh Laurie bit.  You’re welcome.

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Posted in Miscellany

Jeanie Gets Up

Posted on July 10, 2012 | 7 comments

Today’s Tuesday Tribute is a bit late because I needed to do some video editing for Sunny Johnson who co-starred in Flashdance as Jeanie, the ice-skating waitress who ended up dancing with only her shins at Johnny C’s strip club after ruining her One Big Break. Sunny died of a burst blood vessel in her brain in 1984, just a year after her real life One Big Break of a movie came out. Sad! Tragic! And there’s nothing I can do about it. However, I can do something about the nearly as sad and tragic scene in Flashdance where Jeanie falls not once, but twice! (Oh god! Get up Jeanie!) Right. I can’t make that blood vessel unburst, but I can make Jeanie GET UP! And if I get some better video editing software for Christmas, I might just make her put her clothes back on, quit shin dancing at Zanzi-Bar and get back together with Richie. You’re Welcome.

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Posted in Flashdance, Tuesday Tribute

Top Ten Slumber Party Movie Bad Guys

Posted on July 9, 2012 | Leave a comment

Here are the top 10 Slumber Party Movie bad guys in order from Mild to Wild for your easy reference. (And before you say it, yes, you sort of forgot that Lee Ving was in Flashdance and you TOTALLY forgot Leif Garrett was in The Outsiders. That’s okay. That’s what we’re here for.)

Morris Day
Weapons: Jerome. Pimp Cane.
Enemies: The Kid. Humidity.
Weakness: Apollonia

Johnny C
Weapons: Cecil. Toothpick.
Enemies: Richie Blazik. Pittsburgh Blue Laws.
Weakness: Alex’s Ass.

Melvin P. Thorpe
Weapons: A camera. The ‘truth’. A catchy tune.
Enemies: Hookers with hearts of gold and the sheriffs who love them
Weakness: Pants without an elastic waistband. A stiff wind.

Roy Stalin
Weapons: Skis. Blonde hair.
Enemies: Lane Meyer. Charles De Mar. Chapped lips.
Weakness: Going that way…really fast.

Balmudo
Weapons: Chopper. Acne scars.
Enemies: The T-Birds. That guy (whoever he is).
Weaknesses: Cha Cha. Guys who learned to ride a motorcycle after school…before their tutoring job.

Cobra Kai
Weapons: Jiu Jitsu. Headbands. Dirty tricks.
Enemies: Daniel-san. Guns.
Weakness: Waxing on and waxing off.

Count Tyrone Rugen
Weapons: Sword. Glove. Horse. Sharp tongue.
Enemies. Peasants. Fathers.
Weakness: Vengeful sons.

Bob Sheldon
Weapons: Madras. Trust fund. Fountain.
Enemies: Two Bit. Ponyboy.
Weakness: Switchblades. Doing it for Johnny.

Nomi Malone
Weapons: Stairs. Buns of steel.
Enemies: Hos with more stage time than her. Rapists. Hep C.
Weakness: Potato chips. Tight tops. Italian names. Acting.

Paperboy
Weapons: Sweet bike. Switchblade comb.
Enemies: Pay-you-later types.
Weakness: None.

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Posted in Miscellany