Category Archives: Detritus

The worst movie ever made!

Thanks to my husband falling asleep with the TV on while the DVR was recording two things, I have been subjected to the shittiest movie I have ever seen: An American Hippie in Israel (1972).

This movie is worse than either time I had elbow surgery. It’s worse than when I broke my finger and still had to take an algebra test. It’s worse than the time I lost feeling in both legs and had to have an emergency MRI (which turned up nothing). It made me want to punch the 1970s in the face.

I have seen PSAs with more subtlety. I’ve seen school plays with better acting. I’ve heard better music at Gymboree. If you hate America, Israel, music, joy, veterans, women, and lambs, you might like this scummed-over puddle of loose excrement. Otherwise, seriously, just go watch Russ Meyer or something.

Shirley you jest

Surely there cannot be a movie starring Cindy Williams. No, really, there was — and stop calling her Shirley. My sister and I had this on VHS; it’s a charmer called Spaceship (1982), and it’s so eternal that I can only find it on IMDB under its alternative title, The Creature Wasn’t Nice.

If you can find it, I do recommend watching it. It’s not conventionally good, but there are some great shlocko lines and truly amateur writing. Also, Leslie Nielsen plays the captain, so there’s that.

Classy out the assy

In a lovely case of life imitating art, the guy who plays the creepy boss in Flashdance turns out to be a scumbag. Allegedly.

Michael Nouri and Jennifer Beals from Flashdance

He doesn’t look creepy at all.

Scary Movie can suck it

I just watched Scream 3 for the first time, and was pleasantly surprised by how weird it was. Funny, not so much. It made me nostalgic for the days when shitty parody movies seemed brand new.

The innocent ’80s, my salad days. When The Movie Channel would play stuff like Student Bodies a bazillion times a day. And now, thanks to the obsessive nerds of the internet, I can once again watch this gem any time I want.

Woman’s Day tapdance

I’m still working on a real post for International Women’s Day, but in the meantime, please enjoy this Australian commercial for Woman’s Day.

Australian totally counts as “international” in the U.S.

See also: We’ve got the right to be angry, Tuesday’s link to the Pat Benatar video for “Invincible.”