Okay, for once and for all let’s answer the question none of us are asking. Which is better? Grease or Grease 2?
Both were set at Rydell High. A school run by an adorable, long-term same sex couple.
Both had T-Birds and Pink Ladies.
Both had Balmudo.
And Eugene.
Both had Frenchy but in Grease, she ruined her hair by dying it pink. In Grease 2, she pretended she meant to do that.
Advantage: Grease
Grease brought back Frankie Avalon, Sid Caesar and Joan Blondell.
Grease 2 Brought back Connie Stevens and Tab Hunter.
Advantage: Grease
Grease introduced us to Lorenzo Lamas.
Grease 2 introduced us to Michelle Pfeiffer.
Advantage Grease 2.
Grease had Stockard Channing.
Grease 2 had Lorna Luft.
Slight advantage to Grease.
Grease had Greased Lightning.
Grease had Michelle Pfeiffer on a ladder.
Advantage Grease.
Grease had a slumber party.
Grease 2 went bowling.
Hmm…Grease had Jan and her toothbrush, but Grease 2 had Lorna and her gold pants.
Tie.
Grease had Thunder Road.
Grease 2 had a choreographed motorcycle fight.
Advantage: Grease 2
Grease had backseat sex.
Grease 2 attempted sex in a bomb shelter.
Advantage: Grease 2
Grease had a Big Dance Contest.
Grease 2 prepared for the Big Talent Show.
Advantage Grease 2…because of the Girl for All Seasons Song. Suck it, hand jive!
Grease had a fat girl who was not fat.
Grease 2 had a girl with an actual big nose.
Advantage Grease 2.
Grease had Teen Angel.
Grease 2 had fake, Dead Michael.
Advantage Grease
Grease had this psychotic break.
Grease 2 had this one.

Um…hello! Stephanie! You were supposed to be singing A Girl for All Seasons. I’m dressed like a frigging tree.
Advantage Grease
Grease had a pretty Aussie who needed a make-over to seem tougher.
So did Grease 2.
Advantage Grease
Grease had a pregnancy scare.
Grease 2 had a statutory rape scare.
Oh, but so did Grease.
Who won? I’ll let you decide, but…just remember.
Grease ended at The Carnival!
Grease 2 ended at The Luau!