Category Archives: Horror

WTF was that?

What? You have something better to do? ... Oh. You do? Can I come along? No? Fine. I'll watch this then.

What? You have something better to do? … Oh. You do? Can I come along? No? Fine. I’ll watch this then.

Fans of basic cable might have noticed that USA’s Psych totally stole our shtick with their Psych Slumber Party marathon last Friday night. While watching it, I noticed something spine-chilling. Fan-made videos of Psych devotees so rabid, they are just one missed med away from a “Sean and Gus together at last” skin suit. Less scary, but very entertaining was Tuesday the 17th, an episode from season three that paid tribute to the Friday the 13th series:

In it, is a scene that so awesomely and perfectly captures the “Holy Sh@tballs! What was that noise? Oh it was just a thing. Holy Bumbits! There’s another noise! Oh it was just this other thing. Holy Splamoney! What in the name of sexy camp counselors was that? Oh. It was just a thing…a thing that wants to KILL ME!!!” trope that I had to pay tribute in the highest form that a blog about Slumber Party movies can muster. Flowchart.

Yeah. I made it in Paint. So? Is that a crime? ... Oh it is? Oh I see. on it anyway. I'll be phoning my lawyer.

Yeah. I made it in Paint. So? Is that a crime? … Oh it is? Oh I see. Well…click on it anyway. I’ll be phoning my lawyer.

Oh no. Thank YOU, creators of Psych. Thank you.

Scary Movie can suck it

I just watched Scream 3 for the first time, and was pleasantly surprised by how weird it was. Funny, not so much. It made me nostalgic for the days when shitty parody movies seemed brand new.

The innocent ’80s, my salad days. When The Movie Channel would play stuff like Student Bodies a bazillion times a day. And now, thanks to the obsessive nerds of the internet, I can once again watch this gem any time I want.


Friday the 13

Happy Friday the 13th! I don’t know about you, but on special days like this, my mind turns to thoughts of Jason Voorhees. One of my favorite Friday the 13th movies is Jason X–or as I like to call it “Jason in Space!” I don’t love this flick because it’s good…because it’s not. And I don’t just love it because it’s Jason…in space. Even though it is. I love it because after years of stabbing bitches in the head with a machete (except for Friday the 13th 3 in 3D, when he switched to spears, darts and long “coming at ya” weapons…for some reason), Jason went into space. Space! Did you ever go to space? Probably not. And not only does he go into space, but he fucks shit up there. Watch this trailer…see that? At the end…when the mother fucking space station explodes? Jason did that. Little, head-stabbing Jason blew up a mother fucking SPACE STATION!* Brings a tear to my eye.

*It should be noted that Jason accidentally blew up the space station while stabbing a bitch with a machete, but still….

From stabbing horn-dog counselors at Camp Crystal Lake to this. Sniff.