Blog Archives

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Annette Funicello…Gone to That Beach Blanket in the Sky

Any Slumber Party that ever featured teens partying, singing for no reason, a bizarre joke that seemed to come out of left field (ahem Better Off Dead) or a cameo by an older comedian owes a debt to The Beach Movies of the 60s. Any spunky actress, brunette or otherwise, owes a debt to Annette Funicello for paving the way. Oh…and those other Italian Americans running around the beach these days? They’ve got nothing to do with her. Aloha, Annette. We always knew who the real Big Kahuna was.

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Kermit’s response to someone who is 100% Wrong, and won’t shut up about it.

There are tons of people on the interwebs who are wrong and will not STFU about it. Or as I call them, jerkwads. But, is it just me, or have they been even wronger lately? I think they have. Especially the people who make up facts about Hitler so they can compare him to Obama. They are just so verbose and so, so wrong. It reminded me of the scene between late great Peter Falk and Kermit in The Great Muppet Caper. A lot of jerkwads are wrong, but if they sit on your park bench and get in your face about it, just send them this video.

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Jeff Goldblumism #4567

Lerlenes*! There were lots of happy Christmas posts I was planning for you before the entire world got horribly sad. By the way, stop posting pictures of Santa crying. It’s not helping. Speaking of helping…here I am with a Goldblumism for anyone who is waging a battle on Facebook right now.

Oh, I’m just not ready for a full-on Big Chill post. Sorry. When that movie came out I was barely a teenager. It was about old people and old people problems. Now I am seven years older than the characters in that movie. (Except for Jennifer Tilly’s character of course.) I’m going to need one hell of a rationalization to get through that!

*When I picture my audience, there are four of you and you are all named Lerlene.

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Wait…Did That Really Happen? Butts-a-Popping Edition

Have you ever remembered a movie from your childhood, but it was so weird that you thought to yourself, “Wait…did that really happen, or did I do a lot of peyote as a child? Was that an actual movie, or something my mind created to block out the memory of fourth grade PE class?” As a public service, Slumber Party Movies will solve those cinematic mysteries for you…one botched-rope-climb replaced memory at a time.

The first “Wait…Did that Really Happen?” is the one where that guy creates a line of jeans with the ass cheeks cut out that sweeps the nation becauseĀ it turns out, no one really wants their pants to actually cover their asses. Was this a hallucinogenic-fueled mental-break or actual movie? ACTUAL MOVIE. Yes! So Fine came out in 1981…and that guy? He was played with relentless maleness by Ryan O’Neal. Don’t believe me? Here is the evidence.

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ACTUAL MOVIE. Yes! So Fine came out in 1981…and that guy? He was played with relentless maleness by Ryan O’Neal. Don’t believe me? Here is the evidence.

 

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Friday Morning Video: Faaaaaabulous!

Let’s Have a Kiki isn’t a retro video,but this summer’s gay anthem from one of my all time favorite bands, The Scissor Sisters. But really, what slumber party would be complete without this video? It has everything that you could possibly need: Faux drag queens, comedic spoken word opening, train stories, British voice-overs, bras as clothing, simple but awesome dance moves, onscreen lyrics, fabulousness, hot tambourine dudes, codpieces, cool new lingo and lots of swearing. Which reminds me, it’s NSFW because MTA stands for mother f%$ckers touching my ass!

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The White Nights/James Bond connection

This is for those of you who noticed something oddly familiar about the creepy KGB guy who was spying on Greggy and Mikhail’s bromantic dance routine in the video clip I posted yesterday. This clip is from one of the many James Bond movies that can be be considered a Slumber Party movie, Never Say Never Again (hint: most of them were made in the 80s). I think you’ll find it even creepier than the White Nights one because, really, when you’re jazzercizing with your gay bff in matching unitards and leg warmers, the last thing you want on the other side of the two-way mirror is a blonde guy with an even blonder face mole and bunch of surveillance equipment. A minute and fifteen minutes or pure ick. Enjoy!

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Tuesday Tribute to Gregory Hines–White Nights dance break edition

If you are one of my friends, I’ve already forced you to watch this many times–Clockwork Orange style. If you aren’t, you probably aren’t reading this blog. Just in case you are, this is a reminder that no one has moves like Gregory Hines…even Mikhail. It’s also a reminder that we should all dance like no one is watching…except a creepy KGB agent with a closed-circuit spy cam and a two-way mirror. (Can I get that printed on a t-shirt?) Oh…and watch at 1:42 for a sweet fight dance into jazz run combo that will make you glad you stumbled onto this blog.