Category Archives: Miscellany

2Good4u Reigns at Purple Rain.

Thanks to all who gave us fab costume ideas for the 30th Anniversary Showing of Purple Rain at the Balboa. * We threw together some last-minute creations and did not even consider the fact that there would be a costume competition until the organizers of this fab affair steered us towards the auditorium on the right, where the competition would be fierce!

And I mean Fierce! Look at my girl Corvette as Wendy! Look at her. If the button placement doesn’t bring tears to your eyes, I don’t want to know you.

 

Ding ding ding ding ding-ding ding. Computer Blue.

She’s not going to put a dark cloud over you.

 

And look, look how Pepper acts like all her brains are in her cleavage. Oh! Oh! Even better is how Butterscotch manages to look exactly like a cross between a 17 year old girl and a magician, capturing Prince’s essence perfectly.

King Kong? No, but here...pick a card. Any card.

King Kong? No, but here…pick a card. Any card.

 

My Lisa was just a pair of lace gloves and a little back-combing, but standing next to these three, I was confident in getting fourth place.

Excuse me, do you have a few minutes to talk about purifying yourself in Lake Minnetonka?

Excuse me, do you have a few minutes to talk about purifying yourself in Lake Minnetonka?

And I got it! You already saw places one through three. And guess what? They gave out exactly FOUR PRIZES! It was the most 80s-movie moment of my life. Corvette won the DVD, which we will soon be blogging about whilst drunk. I got a poster which will soon be framed and put on my wall because I am at that age when I put posters in frames.

Oh, and for those smart-asses who think we’re too old for this, here is a picture of us about ten years ago when were also too old for this.

Suck it, haters.

Suck it, haters.

 

 

*And apologies to anyone who sat near us. What can we say? We like Purple Rain. Loudly.

Our Best Movie Clip Post Ever.

The other night at Slumber Party Headquarters*, we sat down over a couple mock-mocktails to hash out a question that has been puzzling Slumber Party historians for eons. What is the absolute best scene from a slumber party movie ever? Lerlines, you know I fought for the Girl Group Rehearsal scene from Purple Rain. I fought for you, Morris! For the love of Burt Reynolds, I FOUGHT FOR YOU!

Sadly, I got shouted down and had mock fake booze thrown at me. … Mostly by Spiegelmama, who later admitted she wasn’t really paying attention and thought we were arguing about whether or not Duran Duran’s Andy Taylor should have been replaced with Gary Richrath back in ’91**. Despite the controversy, I think the clip we decided on is a solid, if slightly controversial, choice. What do you think? (You’ll really need to watch the clip all the way to the end to get what we mean.)

*Yes. It is a magical place filled with egg chairs and mountains of Jiffy Pop. Why?

**Why not? He wasn’t doing anything.

McConnelling Slumber Party Style.

Verbatim transcript of a recent imaginary conversation:

Jody: Can you make me some McConnelling videos, please?

Me: No. Sorry. I’ve told you I don’t do porn. … Anymore.

Jody: It’s not porn, it’s adding different music to McConnell’s campaign ad.

Me: Who is McConnell? Is he the geeky little brother in Making the Grade?

Jody: No. He’s a politician.

Me: Is he a much older, married boyfriend in St. Elmo’s Fire?

Jody: He’s a real person.

Me: A wha?

Jody: Never mind. Look. I have the flu. I feel like I’m dying. This will make me feel better. … Just do it.

Me: Fine, but only because you’ll be dead soon.

Jody: I said I feel like I’m dying…never mind. Here’s a list of songs.

Red Tiki: Hold up! Can you also do The Chauffeur?

Me: Maybe. If you’re lucky.

Me: Wait! What if I use an old Gilda Radner sketch. That would be funny right?

Goldblum Will Save The Internet

Me?

Me?

Jeff Goldblum will save The Internet AGAIN, starting with Facebook, which is currently eating itself. No, this is not another one of those “Facebook is going the way of MySpace and Friendster before them, and I for one will bow down to the cyber usurper who takes its place” blogs that have been published weekly and shared on Facebook for the past 8 years. This is TRUTH. (And, yes, I said AGAIN, but more on that later.)

Look at your Facebook feed. People are so afraid of being mocked in one of those “list of the 24 worst, most horrible people on Facebook who actually deserve to die when you really think about it” blog postings that are published bi-daily that they can’t share anything at all…except those blog postings. Blog postings that have nearly eliminated cat pictures, lunch check-ins, humblebrags, not-so humble brags, proof of procreation and Hello Tuesday! postings.

And really, what’s left? Political postings? Oh no. Remember when we all came out AGAINST that African child-murdering warlord only to find out 12 minutes later that it meant we were coming out in FAVOR of white hipsters who masturbate in public…probably in front of someone’s Auntie June? Remember? Well forget it. Now, It’s gotten so bad that you can’t even make fun of hipsters because apparently they are people. Even the ones who masturbate in front of Auntie Junes.

Is it any wonder that people have started playing What Character from Your favorite TV Show Are You quizzes like it’s 2008 all over again? Watch your news feed, it will soon feature a scathing, un-researched blog post accusing Grumpy Cat of being a pedophile. And those little girls in the Goldiblox videos? Yeah. They caused cancer. Killer kids and pedophile cats. That is the future of Facebook and The Internet. UNLESS….

Back in the late 90s, Spiegelmama hipped me to this cool website where you could send Goldblum-o-Grams to friends and family. We would send them to each other daily with messages like “Congratulations you’ve been Goldblumed!” or “That guy you brought home last night was ugly. Aim higher. Aim for Goldblum.” Or something like this:

What's for Breakfast? How about some Goldblum?

What’s for Breakfast? How about some Goldblum?

We noticed, soon after, that The Internet started doing pretty well for itself. Coincidence? Maybe, but recently, when Facebook seemed to be teetering on the edge of oblivion, something happened. People started sharing Goldblums. Sexy Goldblums, Serious Goldblums, Hot Goldblums, Cool Goldblums, Disco Goldblums…you name the Goldblum…it was shared, and it was glorious. Goldblum is a perfect entity. He can not be broken down. He is the element Goldblum. He will never masturbate in front of your Auntie June. He saved The Internet, he will save Facebook and possibly the world!

In the interest Saving the of World, Slumber Party Movies offers a fresh batch of Goldblums, ready for sharing. Please. Handle with care. Goldblum is flammable.

Candlelit Goldblum

Candlelit Goldblum

Not-littering Goldblum

Not-littering Goldblum

Decorated Goldblum
Decorated Goldblum
Shaved-alien Goldblum

Shaved-alien Goldblum

Unshaved Alien Goldblum

Unshaved Alien Goldblum

Cowboy Goldblum Part 1

Cowboy Goldblum Part 1

Cowboy Goldblum Part 2

Cowboy Goldblum Part 2

Bedoilied Goldblum

Bedoilied Goldblum

Talking About Space Goldblum

Talking About Space Goldblum

Pleased to be here, Conan Goldblum

Pleased to be here, Conan Goldblum

Telling a Driving Story Goldblum

Telling a Driving Story Goldblum

This Guy, Amirite, Andy? Goldblum

This Guy, Amirite, Andy? Goldblum

90s Goldblum Ties a Sweater around Goldblum's Flannel

90s Goldblum Ties a Sweater around Goldblum’s Flannel

Cigar Goldblum

Cigar Goldblum

No Cigar Goldblum

No Cigar Goldblum

Seeing a Dinosaur Goldblum

Seeing a Dinosaur Goldblum

Seeing Dinosaur Poop Goldblum

Seeing Dinosaur Poop Goldblum

Fucking with a T-Rex Goldblum

Fucking with a T-Rex Goldblum

Laughing on Helicopter with Bond Villain Goldblum

Laughing in a Helicopter with Bond Villain Goldblum

Piano Man Goldblum

Piano Man Goldblum

The Stranger Goldblum

The Stranger Goldblum

Pre-coital Goldblum (brunette)

Pre-coital Goldblum (brunette)

Pre-coital Goldblum (blonde)

Pre-coital Goldblum (blonde)

Goldblum mid-coitus

Mid-coital Goldblum

Post-coital Goldblum

Post-coital Goldblum

Post-coital Goldblum (self)

Post-coital Goldblum (self)

Pre-coital-Goldblum (Conan)

Pre-coital-Goldblum (Conan)

Mid-coital Goldblum (Conan)

Mid-coital Goldblum (Conan)

Goldblum post-coital (Conan)

Post-coital Goldblum (Conan)

Explaining why he had to shoot that spider Goldblum

Explaining why he had to shoot that spider Goldblum

Office Drone Goldblum

Office Drone Goldblum

Not the nerdy one Goldblum

Not the nerdy one Goldblum

The nerdy one Goldblum

The nerdy one Goldblum

Dipping Cyndi Lauper Goldblum

Dipping Cyndi Lauper Goldblum

Reluctantly talking on snake phone Goldblum

Reluctantly talking on snake phone Goldblum

Calling shotgun with Peter Falk Goldblum

Calling shotgun with Peter Falk Goldblum

Getting a hand Goldblum

Getting a hand Goldblum

Getting handsy Goldblum

Getting handsy Goldblum

Trying to act casual with bikini models Goldblum

Trying to act casual with bikini models Goldblum

Failing to act casual Goldblum

Failing to act casual Goldblum

Pointing forward Goldblum (no glasses)

Pointing forward Goldblum (no glasses)

Looking to the right and pointing forward Goldblum (no glasses)

Looking to the right and pointing forward Goldblum (no glasses)

Goldblum points forward (glasses)

Goldblum points forward (glasses)

Looking to the right and pointing forward Goldblum (glasses)

Looking to the right and pointing forward Goldblum (glasses)

Tugs front of pants while bending down Goldblum

Tugs front of pants while bending down Goldblum

Guess who's coming to dinner? Goldblum!

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Goldblum!

Passed out on your couch Goldblum

Passed out on your couch Goldblum

Goldblum has magic hair

Goldblum has magic hair

Because he is a Magic man!

Because he is a Magic man!

 

Got a Goldblum? Send it to us or tweet it to us @SlumberPartyMov with the hashtag #gotagoldblum

BTW, this can also be done with Geena Davis? Don’t believe me? Check out exhibits A and B:

Bang!

Bang!

BOOM!

BOOM!

Congratulations and Best Wishes to Incredible Women, Lily and Jane.

When fantastic funny girl Lily Tomlin marries writing partner and genius responsible for the Incredible Shrinking Woman, Jane Wagner, we can think of only one way to say congrats!

Cheers!

Cheers!

This is truly newsworthy!
This is truly newsworthy!

To all the naysayers, we say, "Well of all the rudeness. Don't you have something to shop for? Some rat poison maybe?"

To all the naysayers (*cough* DOMA), we say, “Well of all the rudeness. Don’t you have something to shop for? Some rat poison maybe?”

 

If that was too subtle for you...

Or if that was too subtle for you…

 

Seriously, we're happier than Santa in a Nativity Scene for you two, and in closing would just like to say....

Seriously, we’re happier than Santa in a Nativity Scene for you two, and in closing would just like to say….

 

I wish I was a little bar of soap. Bar of soap! Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap. Bar of soap! Because I'd slippey, slidey, slidey over everybody's heinie. Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap.

I wish I was a little bar of soap. Bar of soap! Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap. Bar of soap! Because I’d slippey, slidey, slidey over everybody’s heinie. Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap.

 

 

 

 

EG Daily Chooses a Lap on The Voice.

 

No, Cee-Lo. No Large Marge here.

Our girl EG in all her fine-tuned, raspy glory.

If you expected the freaky-deaky celeb judges  to turn their space-aged bordello chairs around, point, and yell “Dottie!” before her song was over, then EG Daily’s performance on The Voice approached John-and-Yoko-hosting-The-Mike-Douglas-Show levels of surrealism.  Didn’t watch? Be prepared because If you are like us, and you’ve always been a fan of Miss Daily, it will freak your shit out to see how long it takes them to figure it out. You can skip to the three minute mark, or you can be lazy and read my interpretation. Full disclosure: I have never seen The Voice, but I’m sincerely sure that it is the finest chair-based talent show on television,

DOTTIE!

DOTTIE!

That's right bitch!

That’s right bitch!

Michael Jackson Jacket Head Tat says, "huh?"

Dottie! Come over here and sit on my lap.

Don't sit on his lap. He looks like Elton John ate Michael Jackson.

Don’t sit on his lap. He looks like Elton John ate Michael Jackson.

That's not even a lap. It's a portal to Pepperland.

That’s not even a lap. It’s a portal to Pepperland.

Hee hee! I'm a big sexy Blue Meanie.

Hee hee! I’m a big sexy Blue Meanie.

Come sit on my lap. I've just had it re-carpeted. It smells like Vitalis and leather polish.

Come sit on my lap. I’ve just had it re-carpeted. It smells like Vitalis and leather polish.

 

I'm going to go with the guy who doesn't look like he just ate a submarine full of mod rockers.

I’m going to go with the guy who doesn’t look like he just ate a submarine full of jovial English lads.

Are you talking about me? I didn't eat that submarine, I just tossed it into the Sea of Sexy Muppets. ...Is anyone else on ludes right now?

Are you talking about me? I didn’t eat that submarine, I just tossed it into the Sea of Green. By the way, is it just me, or do I look like a Sexy Muppet?

No, not a Muppet.... What do you call them things? They have them in the inner city. Dogs like to pee on them....

No, not a Muppet…. What do you call them things? They have them in the inner city. Dogs like to pee on them….

A child?

A child?

No. Not that...it's shorter and harder.

No. No..it’s shorter and harder than one of those.

A food truck?

A food truck?

 

I'm pretty sure it's a fire hydrant.

I’m pretty sure it’s a fire hydrant.

Yes! A sexy fire hydrant! That's what Cee-Lo looks like.

Yes! A sexy fire hydrant! That’s what Cee-Lo looks like.

That's why I'm going to sit on your lap, you sexy fire hydrant in a Thriller jacket.

That’s why I’m going to sit on your lap, you sexy fire hydrant in a Thriller jacket!

Really? You know I just crushed small Japanese fishing village, right?

Really? You want to sit on my lap? You know I just crushed small Japanese fishing village, right?

Not so fast, Missy. Sh. Shhh! Don't fight it. Just let the Vitalis do it's work.

Not so fast, Dottie. Sh. Shhh! Don’t fight it. Just let the Vitalis do it’s work.

If you Lerlines were paying attention, you noticed two things. One, I may have gotten a few of the smaller details wrong, and two, EG did not even mention the role that made her a true Slumber Party Princess: Loryn from Valley Girl. Nice try, EG. Check her out rocking the zebra-print panty and camisole set that she didn’t want you to see.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful filibuster.

When Wendy Davis took a preparatory pee (I’m assuming and probably right) and slipped on her comfy shoes so she could stand for the women of Texas, for 13 mother-humping hours, it brought a tear (or two or three) to my eye. But there was something ab…OKAY! Fine. I admit it. I cried like I was watching the end of Benji or Savannah Smiles. Happy now?

Why as a matter of fact, no, Senator Dickhead, I do not need to pee.

Why as a matter of fact, no, Senator Dickhead, I do not need to pee. I have not even begun to hold my urine.

Where was I? Oh yes. It reminded me of something. A slumber party movie? That scene in 9 to 5 when the ladies get away with kidnapping their boss while inventing the concept of on-site day care? No. It was an older movie. A classic. That scene in It’s a Wonderful Life where the townspeople give George the cash his drunk uncle (or, as he would be known today, drunkle) lost? Nope. It was this scene:

See? In this case, the Texas republicans are the nazis and Wendy Davis is Victor Laszlo. (Only instead of 13 hours, it took about a minute). Vive l’Austin!