Our first Tuesday Tribute is a sad one. Susan Tyrrell died at age 67. She was nominated for an Oscar for playing a drunk in Fat City with Stacy Keach and Jeff Bridges, and she was a bad ass who kept acting after losing both legs to a rare blood disease. Slumber Partiers might know her from Forbidden Zone (yeah, that’s Tattoo and the guy from Oingo Boingo…what of it?), or better yet from Cry Baby, where she can be seen out Iggy-Popping Iggy Pop. Nicely done, Susan.
Oh, THIS TV, how I love you. I also love ION, but I especially love THIS TV. It’s like TBS for the great uncabled. Last night, I landed on “Vice Versa,” but despite it being an adorable reminder of Judge Reinhold’s cuteness, I decided to forego it for “Master Chef.” We switched back after they ditched the guy with the worst apple pie, and to my ever-loving gobsmacked eyes, “Making the Grade” came on.
The 80s produced many prep school movies, and like all teen subgenres, had a few wins (“Class” being the best of the best) and lots more flops (“Up the Academy” being the one I remember best; when an 8-year-old knows a movie isn’t funny, it isn’t funny.). Phoebe Cates, of course, starred in roughly half of them, and had sex “From Here to Eternity”-style in “Private School,” sometime after the the aerobics class and topless horseback ride. but in the Rocket house, the very, very favorite, was always “Making the Grade.”
I was worried about watching it; I’ve been disappointed in my adulthood many times by movies I found hilarious in the 80s. (Bachelor Party, I’m looking at you.) The most disappointing thing about re-watching “Making the Grade” was that they left half of it on THIS TV’s floor: most notably, the scene in which Rand (the playboy’s sidekick) teaches street kid Eddie how to dress preppy. I was appalled: the entire point of the movie is to teach us kids how to dress preppy, especially since we didn’t get The Preppy Handbook way down in Greene County. And they cut THIS scene?
Best line: “Socks: Wear them only to weddings, and then, only to your own.” As a kid in the sticks, I was shocked that preppies were not neat and tidy, that they wore clothes too big, shoes too small, and pants too high. OK, I knew about the pants part.
Then there’s the bit part played by Andrew Dice Clay, with his Stayin’ Alive scene; Jonna Lee, who played the drums in Lovelines (another post) and has a spectacular rack, mostly because they’re real. Mr. Carlson plays the headmaster of the school, every guy wears pink, and Dennis Blunden plays the seniors’ “floor model” for demonstrating proper behavior to “smacks.” Also, Judd Nelson says “BREAK DAAAANCE” and then proceeds to do that, in a series of distant shots and closeups of his face.
NOTE: Less enjoyable are the two black characters: one as Palmer’s housekeeper, and the other as Tracy’s footman. No lie. He’s a footman. And the word “massuh” is only slightly silent.
But the real reason to watch “Making the Grade” is Dana Olsen as the real Palmer Woodrow III. I can only assume that he was actually playing himself, because no other reason for his performance makes sense, considering that he never made any other movies. I can’t find the best part–when he gets drunk and returns to the prep school–so you’ll have to TiVO it and forward to the best parts. Just look for the drunk guy shooting wine into Dan Schneider’s mouth from a bota bag.
Factoid: he also co-wrote “The ‘Burbs.” Which, unlike “Bachelor Party,” gets funnier every time I watch it.
And here: make your own meme.
Sure we all know the big lessons learned from Better Off Dead–all French girls are hot, all blonde people are evil, all cartoon hamburgers are David Lee Roth. And those lessons are great. But here are some other important nuggets of wisdom from BOD.
Not so much a lesson as a Holiday Wish
Posted in Better Off Dead, Miscellany
I subscribe to a YouTube channel called “Pittsburgh Dad.” It’s a Burgh thing, but even if you don’t have the deep appreciation/hate of the Pittsburgh accent like I do, you’ll still love this. It’s like he made it just for us.
We were children of the 80s. We had cable, and we had VCRs, and we had parents who really didn’t give a fuck sometimes. And so we learned these songs young, and sometime later–maybe in college, when thinking about things that happened 10 years ago was suddenly cool, but before anyone called it retro?–we actually listened to the songs and couldn’t believe our parents let us listen.
Now that we have children, of course, we laugh and laugh when they think “a spoon up your nose” is a funny joke, instead of an actual spoon.
I was absolutely flabbergasted when I first moved to New York and realized Elaine’s was an actual place.
I still know the whole dance. I performed it for my toddler when we watched this back at Christmas. She clapped and said “Mommy’s dancing!” and my husband wondered if the material was appropriate.
When John Travolta talks about bowling at 1:43, the hand gesture he makes is totally not about bowling. It still makes me kegel.
I wasn’t allowed to watch Purple Rain when it first came out–one of the only restricted movies, mostly due to the car accident my mom nearly had the first time “Erotic City” penetrated her radio. So this one’s for Melinda and Karen, who still dream of the day when they can get the band back together and perform it live onstage. Preferably with Morris Day in the audience.
We knew he said bad words like “tit” and “shit,” but my parents loved it so much that we listened to the album until it looked like a cat had attacked it. What I didn’t hear were the choice phrases “get off my rocks” and “pussywagon.” Additionally: if someone understands the Saran Wrap, please explain.
Posted in Grease, Miscellany, Prince, Videos
Tagged appolonia, billy joel, grease, johnny dangerously, olivia newton john
Yeah…why isn’t it He’s Having a Baby, huh? Just kidding…I know why men can’t get pregnant. This isn’t a post about Rabbit Test (but when I do write one, it will be mostly about the fact that it was directed by Joan Rivers…or maybe about how Miss River’s shtick was stolen by Junior.) But there is a bizarrely not-so feminist a scene in 1988’s She’s Having a Baby (you know…the “What? John’s Hughes Directed that movie?” John Hughes movie).
I’m not saying John Hughes isn’t a feminist, (or that Kevin Bacon isn’t a feminist…if that’s what you’re thinking), but I get the idea that, when making this movie, Hughes was imagining a world where men worked, and women worked too…but they did it in a different way. And in a different place. See, there’s a scene where momentarily happy wife Elizabeth McGovern drops off her angst-hiding husband off at the train station with a great big soul kiss.
And then, freshly Frenched, he gets on a train that looks like this:
I was so freaked out by the all the smoking (and whatever those big papery iPads are), that I didn’t really notice the odd lack of vagina on that train car…at first. But in the next scene, when we discover that Elizabeth McGovern is “quite the little career gal”. (Possibly a direct quote from Mrs. Poole.) I thought, “What the heck? So…which train did our career gal take to work? The V limited? The Boobs Express?”
For a moment, I thought, maybe that was how it was in the 80s–with all the boys on one train and all the girls on another. But it wasn’t. I mean, this movie came out the same year as Working Girl. Yes, feminists, I know the title of that movie is sexist because they don’t call men “working boys”, or even “career guys”, they just call them “men”, and also because Working Girl means prostitute in just about every language on earth, but at least Melanie Griffith and Sigourney Weaver didn’t have to ride a separate, smokey train to work. Melanie took the ferry…with everyone else.
Oh…and Sigourney took a helicopter. I don’t think she let any guys ride on it.
Posted in John Hughes
Tagged feminism, john hughes, keving bacon, melanie griffith, sigourney weaver, working girl
First Donna Summer and now Robin Gibb. And like Donna, I guess you wouldn’t think of Robin as a Slumber Party Movie icon…unless you remembered that The Bee Gees co-starred in the 70’s Beatlesploition flick, Sgt Pepper’s Lonley Heart’s Club Band.
“Wait…what? Co-Starred? How could that be possible? They don’t act.”
Because there wasn’t any dialogue in the movie. To quote The Kids in the Hall, don’t let that scare you, let that free you.
“No dialogue?”
None…unless you count the narration by George Burns.
“George Burns?! Are you effing kidding me?”
Come on. Mellow out. A man has died. Here watch these videos, and all will be clear…er. Also, please note the sweet bit of acting Robin does at the end, shaking his head as if to say, “Nah man. Just let him go.” But not actually saying it. No dialogue.
Get Back Robin! Oh Billy Preston, we need your funky, zappy finger of power now more than ever.
Posted in Miscellany, Tribute
Those who don’t think of of Donna Summer as a Slumber Party icon have never roller-skated indoors. They have also never seen Thank God It’s Friday the 1978 it-happened-one-night movie starring Donna as a disco princess who charms a deejay, lights up the dance floor and upstages The Commodores. So, she’s playing herself.
Also watch for a young Debra Winger, and even younger Terri Nunn, the girl who played Doris in Fame (the TV show) and an evil Jeff Goldblum yelling at a gorilla in an elevator.
Posted in Miscellany
1. Mouth is wearing a Purple Rain shirt through the entire movie. (This was my favorite late-night movie trivia question. I totally stumped my sister on it once.) You would not have noticed this unless a) you watched the movie very closely so as to stump your sister on late-night trivia questions; or b) you are a writer on this blog, and noticed everything with Purple Rain on it.
Siempre hay que separa las drogas.
2. Sloth is a Raiders fan. This is not surprising, as the late great John Matuszak was a Raider; in addition, it’s a pirate, for heaven’s sake, and this is The Goonies. But I’d never noticed he was wearing the t-shirt until last night, and I assume it’s because I’ve never before watched The Goonies in HD. (Five seconds of internet research told me this is an Easter egg, so you may have noticed it, but that would mean you look for Easter eggs and are an even bigger dork than I am.)
Ba-BEE! Ba-BEE!
One last thing to mention: I just noticed something new in The Goonies. That alone makes it one of the greatest movies of all time.
Posted in Nomi's Decoder Ring, Prince, Purple Rain, The Goonies
Tagged goonies, john matuszak, Purple Rain, sloth love chunk, the goonies, the raiders
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NOTE: KR-MUB 2.0 has resolved most of the bugs from KR-MUB 1.0, including the so-called “Volkswagen bug.” Seeing a VW Bug on the street will no longer trigger KR-MUB to launch into Crispin Glover’s “Get down” speech.
slumber party movies 