Wait. Did that really happen? Was there really a movie starring Steve Martin as a charismatic preacher and Ellen Greene as a rocker turned fake Amy Grant or was it just something they made up to scare kids in Sunday School? What was it called? Leap of Glory or something? On the real? No. It didn’t happen. You are mixing up two movies…three if you count Little Shop of Horrors.
Glory Glory was a 1989 made for HBO movie with John Boy as a goody-goody preacher and Ellen Greene as a bad-to-the-bone metal turned gospel singer with the voice of an a very weird angel. (You can check the trailer if you are brave enough to watch 2 second snippets of Greene snorting coke from her fist and sucking some dude’s toe.) Leap of Faith was a 1992 movie that opened in actual theaters starring Steve Martin’s preacher character from his early open-mic days and Debra Winger as Holly Hunter’s character in Broadcast News. Seriously. Watch this if you don’t believe me.
Hmm? What’s that? You thought you saw Meatloaf playing a jaded musician? Of course you did. The Loaf played a bus driver in Spice World, you think this role was beneath him? Come on, now. Huh? Now what? You just realized I called Ellen Green’s voice weird. Duh! Keep up, Lerlines! But, you know, in a good way. Look, I love Ellen. I love her voice, and I love the uberly earnest way she ramps up to a callous rocker growl, but this song SUCKS. I defy you to find a tune.
What was happening at the end? Yes. An actual abortion. That was back when movies didn’t wuss out and push the preggo character considering the fast train to abortion city down the stairs. I’m looking at you, Citizen Ruth and every Soap Opera ever. But did you notice how sucky the song was? No? You were focused on her jeans and strange religious lyrics? Look, that stuff wasn’t weird if you realize that it was based on a pre-cross-over Amy Grant. Don’t judge us lest ye be judged, bitches. We liked Amy Grant, whether she was singing about Jesus or some guy named Baby Baby, Peter Cetara or Vince Gill. Speaking of Amy, it is Friday Morning Video time, isn’t it? Mwa ha ha! Here she is pre-cross over:
Sorry, but you asked for it, Lerlines. You really did.
As much as I too love Ellen Greene, and even though that shitpile came out during the height of my Little Shop of Horrors obsession, I could not sit through Glory Glory. Poorly executed all around — but at least it didn’t have Steve Martin in it!