In honor of Spiegelmama’s birthday, I am posting about one of her favorite movies and the best scene that has ever been in a movie ever. I will also give you the Top Ten Reasons why it is the best scene that has ever been in a movie ever…as if I even have to explain.
10. It features Morris Day in 1984. And in ’84, Morris Day was the hottest thing to swing a pimp cane.
9. What? Yes! The hottest! Why? Yeah, I know he had a pompadour and a mustache, and he occasionally wore a doo-rag with a zoot suit, but there was no one, I repeat NO ONE, hotter than Morris!
8. Okay, fine. You want to play it that way? Number 8 is: It features Morris Day in 1984. And in ’84, Morris Day was the hottest thing to swing a pimp cane. Don’t mess with me. I can do this all day.
7. Speaking of pimp cane, Morris is doing his best pimp routine, but this scene would still pass the scrutiny of Prince’s religious overlords. He’s not asking them to have sex for money. He’s asking them to perform the world’s simplest dance steps ever. What is their problem? Their shoes must indeed be on too tight.
6. The way Jerome shakes his head when the girls suggest that they make up their own dance moves. This is the best because it not only suggests that at one point there existed dance steps even worse than the ones we see here, it also seals Jerome’s character as a toadie with a mind of his own. Yes, he brings Morris comically large mirrors on demand, but he has his on opinions. Sure they are always the same as Morris’s opinions, but that is just a coincidence. (Please see: That was f***ed up what you did. Morris doesn’t like it. I don’t like it either.)
5. Seriously! Those dance steps are bad. They are so easy my five-year-old could do them, and I can’t imagine even the tightest of black ’80s pumps keeping anyone from performing them to even Morris’s high standards.
4. While Morris is asking for perfection, he also clearly asks to see some asses wiggling. At no point during this scene, do these girls wiggle their asses. They clearly can’t take direction.
3. It’s filled with puzzling moments like this one: Morris points his pimp cane at his band and warns the girls that they are going to make his boys look bad. But does Morris really care about “his boys”? He lets them languish all day in a warehouse that looks like it was decorated by Prince’s mom, watching girls in tight shoes not wiggle their asses and miss the same dance steps over and over. Why didn’t he just use a tape? We know they had the technology. Unless of course, Morris was paying them by the hour. I’m not sure why, but I get the idea that Morris paid well.
2. Re-watch the movie so you can see the beginning of this scene. Just do it, you’ll thank me. Pay attention to Jerome. He appears to be playing an interesting new rhythm instrument called The Lampshade Fringe. You are welcome.
1. As you can see from this next video, Morris finally got the perfection he was looking for. And listen to the way he says “a girl’s group.” Too sexy! What? Don’t start that again.