This is the scene in the movie, Roller Boogie, where Linda Blair and a mop on a pair of skates compete in something called a Big Boogie. This clip is too bizarre and scary for the human brain to properly process, so I added narration to make it easier to understand. If your eyes start to bleed, just close them…and listen. (If your ears start to bleed it’s because I totally messed up the audio…I’ll fix that for the next one.)
Psst…NSFW
Posted in Videos
Dang it, Lerlenes*! I meant to post something about the April Fool’s Day Showgirls marathon on Logo, but I was but I was too busy trying to figure out which Shakespearean witch created Joe Eszterhas in her cauldron (I’m going with the ugly one). Here. I’ll make it up to you with this picture of two supposedly sentient women talking about eating dog food.
*In my mind, three women read this blog. They are all named Lerlene.
In honor of Spiegelmama’s birthday, I am posting about one of her favorite movies and the best scene that has ever been in a movie ever. I will also give you the Top Ten Reasons why it is the best scene that has ever been in a movie ever…as if I even have to explain.
10. It features Morris Day in 1984. And in ’84, Morris Day was the hottest thing to swing a pimp cane.
9. What? Yes! The hottest! Why? Yeah, I know he had a pompadour and a mustache, and he occasionally wore a doo-rag with a zoot suit, but there was no one, I repeat NO ONE, hotter than Morris!
8. Okay, fine. You want to play it that way? Number 8 is: It features Morris Day in 1984. And in ’84, Morris Day was the hottest thing to swing a pimp cane. Don’t mess with me. I can do this all day.
7. Speaking of pimp cane, Morris is doing his best pimp routine, but this scene would still pass the scrutiny of Prince’s religious overlords. He’s not asking them to have sex for money. He’s asking them to perform the world’s simplest dance steps ever. What is their problem? Their shoes must indeed be on too tight.
6. The way Jerome shakes his head when the girls suggest that they make up their own dance moves. This is the best because it not only suggests that at one point there existed dance steps even worse than the ones we see here, it also seals Jerome’s character as a toadie with a mind of his own. Yes, he brings Morris comically large mirrors on demand, but he has his on opinions. Sure they are always the same as Morris’s opinions, but that is just a coincidence. (Please see: That was f***ed up what you did. Morris doesn’t like it. I don’t like it either.)
5. Seriously! Those dance steps are bad. They are so easy my five-year-old could do them, and I can’t imagine even the tightest of black ’80s pumps keeping anyone from performing them to even Morris’s high standards.
4. While Morris is asking for perfection, he also clearly asks to see some asses wiggling. At no point during this scene, do these girls wiggle their asses. They clearly can’t take direction.
3. It’s filled with puzzling moments like this one: Morris points his pimp cane at his band and warns the girls that they are going to make his boys look bad. But does Morris really care about “his boys”? He lets them languish all day in a warehouse that looks like it was decorated by Prince’s mom, watching girls in tight shoes not wiggle their asses and miss the same dance steps over and over. Why didn’t he just use a tape? We know they had the technology. Unless of course, Morris was paying them by the hour. I’m not sure why, but I get the idea that Morris paid well.
2. Re-watch the movie so you can see the beginning of this scene. Just do it, you’ll thank me. Pay attention to Jerome. He appears to be playing an interesting new rhythm instrument called The Lampshade Fringe. You are welcome.
1. As you can see from this next video, Morris finally got the perfection he was looking for. And listen to the way he says “a girl’s group.” Too sexy! What? Don’t start that again.
Posted in Purple Rain
When Madeline Kahn’s diminutive, delightfully homicidal Mrs. White tries to come up with the right words to explain the hate she had for the fancy French mistress of her philandering husband, she delivers a line that soon becomes legendary in Clue, a movie filled with legendary lines. A generation has used this line to describe our hatred for everything from high gas prices to leaky garbage bags to philandering husbands to ovarian cancer, and it has served us well. Now, I propose we bring this rage-explaining shorthand to the Internet. We could make it even shorter and just say fatsomf whenever someone pisses us off. Or we could use an emoticon like “o,o” …or we could use this handy dandy meme I made for you. (It clicks through to the original scene…in case you’ve forgotten it.)
Maybe some people don’t think of Glenn Close as a Slumber Party Movie icon, but I do…for two reasons. Number one, she did coke with William Hurt in The Big Chill. Boom! Right there. Icon status. Two: Maxie! Now, this movie was by no means a big hit, or a sleeper hit, or a cult hit or any kind of hit at all. But it had Glenn Close saying cute 30s slang like “now you’re cooking with gas”, dressing in Art Deco fashion, singing on pianos and having ghost sex with Mandy Patinkin. Oh and bonus! Her neighbor was Slumber Party Movie Lifetime Achievement nominee, Ruth Gordon. Come to think of it…why wasn’t it a hit? Baffling.
Spiegelmama wrote about Peggy Pope’s pivotal role as the redeemed office lush in 9 to 5. Peggy Pope turned her catch phrase in the movie, Atta Girl, into the title of her book, Atta Girl…which got 5 stars on Amazon. Peggy….You know what I’m going to say to you, right? Nice job, Peggy!
Hey, on him…they kind of work.
slumber party movies 