Oh holy mother of baby Julius Christ! LL Cool J and Brad Paisley have teamed up together to record a song. That’s right. Ladies Love Cool James and Brad “I Want to Check You For Ticks” Paisley…together…at last? Wait. Come back! It gets better. The song is called Accidental Racist. Stop! No. Don’t look it up. Don’t watch it. Here. Watch that Ticks song instead, it’ll make your ears bleed a little less.
If you must, Rembert Browne discussed the song on Grantland, and his description is vivid enough for anyone with even a modicum of hope for the human race. He has done a great service for all of us–especially when he noted that it was basically a redux of the SNL sketch where Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo sent up Ebony and Ivory. Why not just watch either one of those videos? You can’t lose.
Full Disclosure: I was a huge Paul McCartney fan and still remember sitting on the edge of my grandmother’s bed, watching the World Premiere of this video on Mtv (when that was still a thing). I have watched it twice, non-ironically, while writing this post, and found that it still holds up, especially the clapping and hand-shaking part. It’s all better than the Accidental Rasict video that was released last week and has already been removed from Youtube. Hopefully, the Interweb has been salted so that it may never grow back again.
I am also a fan of Joe Piscopo. What? You heard that Joe Piscopo isn’t funny? Who the eff told you that? Seriously. I want names. Was it Topher? Jules? Ben? Some 20 year old hipster who thinks Dave Chapelle is old school? F@#k those guys. Oh…it was this:
Well…yeah. But he didn’t know about Youtube then. Cut him some slack. You know what? F*#k that. He loves his blonde wife, and he likes to sing bad rock ballads about it. So what? Is that a crime. Screw that! Even if it is, Joe Freaking Piscopo put on one of the best comedic performances in Slumber Party history as Danny Vermin in Johnny Dangerously. How good is it? He’s in a movie where everyone in the cast is in an all-out, on-camera brawl to get the most laughs, and our Joe not only holds his own, he steals it. Seriously. Did you see the movie? Even the skipper from Gilligan’s Island shows up mid-movie to try to step on everyone’s thunder. What’s up Skip? Don’t you have a boat to crash, you bald, Giligan-smacking bitch?
Don’t believe me? Here is a video of Joe stealing the trailer…by force. Once.