Happy December 10th! Today is my birthday, but I didn’t even need to click on over to the Dlisted Birthday Sluts to know who my top sluts were. No! Not that slut Kenneth Branaugh. He barely cracks the top five. He falls somewhere between Raven Symone and Meg White. Susan Dey is my number two slut because she is pretty and because she was so bad on The Partridge Family that I kind of worship her for it. How did she stay employed? She barely knew her lines.
But, sorry Susan, My number one birthday slut is, and has been since 1984, Miss Nia Peeples. Nia Peeples. She was on Fame. No. Not the movie. The TV show. It was like Glee, but with less money. Here watch:
First of all, no one rocked a high-cut leotard with a wide belt like Nia. Second, I take it back. Fame was not Glee. It was better than Glee. Glee uses real songs by real professionals. These kids had to shake their leg warmers to original songs written by an eighth grade music class they kept chained in the supply closet at the studio. And they had to make it look good. Not easy.
I know what you’re wondering. You are wondering whatever happened to Nia Peeples. … Because you are stupid. Come on! What do you think happened to her? She’s on a stupid basic cable drama and she’s still hot. Check it.