My Favorite Christmas Movie is About a Prostitution Ring in a Morgue

…And that’s the truth, and not just a ploy to get a hit off every Google search ever (but I’m on my way!).

Night Shift is an 80s comedy starring Henry Winkler, Micheal Keaton and Shelley Long and set in New York in December. And it is Christmasy!

Wow! I can't believe I'll be giving a hand job at a swank joint like this!

Wow! I can’t believe I’ll be giving a hand job at a swank joint like this!

Very, very Christmasy, but in a pants-off kind of way.

Aren't you cold? No! I've got a baked potato in my pants. Wait.... Where are my pants?

Aren’t you cold? No! I’ve got a baked potato in my pants. Wait…. Where are my pants?

It’s about a wild and crazy satin-jacket-wearing guy named Bill who makes it his mission in life to make a man out of fellow morgue employee, Chuck. He pulls this off with a massive prostitution ring, keggers, hookers, booze, weed, sex clubs, fist fights, shoot outs, threatened prison rape, the Rolling Stones and erratic driving.

Can you hear this?

Can you hear this?

I know it sounds complicated, but it is actually quite simple. Here. I’ll let Bill explain it.

Got it? Anyways…so our Chuck and Bill run a successful prostitution ring out of a morgue, Chuck becomes a man, and at Christmas time, all the prostitutes pool their hooking money together and they buy Chuck a sweet pimp hat.

Merry Christmas Meester Chuck!

Does this hat make me look pimpy enough?

 

I know it all seems strange, but you need to understand one thing. It was the 80s. How 80s? It was 82. We didn’t give a shit. The trailer that advertised this movie featured Shelley Long smoking an enormous roach.

Be honest. Do you think this will ruin my career?

Be honest. Do you think this will ruin my career?

 

2 responses to “My Favorite Christmas Movie is About a Prostitution Ring in a Morgue

  1. Several awesome things about this movie:
    1. Billy’s real last name is Blazijowski. Or possibly Blasczichzowsky.
    2. In Maxim’s first issue ever, this was in the Top 100 Guy Movies. Not sure why.
    3. “Something Polish?” Is one of those brilliant lines, brilliantly delivered, that can almost never be quoted out of context.
    4. Shannon Doherty attacks Fonzie with cookies.

  2. Pingback: The Five Stages of Finding Out Caveman is Disappearing from Netflix. | slumber party movies

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